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Lisa OWC
(@lisa-owc)
Active Member

Hi,

How does one go about looking for other siblings fathered by their dad without hurting their immediate whanau? Is there a right way of doing this whether it will hurt others? A Temperamental subject!!!

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Posted : 15 June, 2007 1:11 pm
matahuru OWC
(@matahuru-owc)
Eminent Member

Hi Lisa

In my opinion the best way is to do it up front. Let those around you know that you intend to do it and if they dont like it, tuff! The siblings should be happy to meet half brothers and sisters they have never known. To get upset or even jealous is a very immature reaction and if they want to continue the illusion that they are the only offspring from their dad, then let them because the fact is..they are not!

I have 2 half brothers, 3 step brothers and a step sister from my dad. I have 1 half brother and 1 adopted sister from my mum. I also have 1 full brother and 1 full sister from both my parents and guess what?..I love every single one of them no more or no less than any other. Its an amazing feeling getting to know these people so dont waste any time. Lifes to short to throw tantrums about who dad loves most. Grow up people. Theres is, or should be, plenty of love around!

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Posted : 15 June, 2007 2:36 pm
taiga
(@taiga)
Trusted Member

I think it will depend on you and your whanau. My uncle found out a few years back he had an older brother and just found out recently that he had a older sister. Although we the extended whanau accept them as our whanau, sadly, their father did not, and the brother was not taken to very warmly by his half-brothers and sisters. Complicated issues. Even now the brother is M.I.A so my suggestion would be to be careful

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Posted : 15 June, 2007 3:54 pm
rikirangi OWC
(@rikirangi-owc)
Active Member

Ae, I fully tautoko both Matahuru and Taiga. Just before my dad passed on, he blew me away by telling me I was not the oldest girl, he had an older girl and an older boy, we are all one year apart, that makes us 6 children from him. One day we will meet up, until then we carry on growing with our children, to keep communicating, to keep loving, to keep safe and protected from any discrimination.

Na Karena.

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Posted : 15 June, 2007 6:59 pm
bwairepo OWC
(@bwairepo-owc)
Active Member

Kia ora kare, im in the same waka, i have tried to connect with relations, i was hoping for exceptance, i had know one,they didnty give a shit about me, the same with my mum and dad, went lookn for them too, it was like invading there territory, they had other kids. I was hurt bigtime, but got thru it. The most importanat person is yourself, find out your pepeha, and thats were you stand and learn of your tupuna before them.There is great knowledge and healing through our tupuna, as for me i forgave them all,as i know that Aroha is our greatest gift, first step for me was to except myself and not to look for it,once i realised this, the heavens started to open and many things came to light and beyond. This may not apply to you but hey,thats me

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Posted : 08 July, 2007 3:33 pm
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