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First time on the marae  

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mykidsarekiwis OWC
(@mykidsarekiwis-owc)
Active Member

Kia ora everyone. First off, thanks for all your help with my lullaby question.

In a couple of weeks I'm going to NZ for the first time. My fiancee is Maori, I'm white Australian. Her grandmother is an elder and I understand I've recieved special permission to go on their marae despite me being

1)Not a Maori
2)Not a New Zealander
3)Australian; which I'm told are three reasons for me to be not allowed. I'm also having a tiki blessed for me because we're engaged.

I know the rules about etiquette in the rooms and on the grounds, but what should I say, in Maori, if I'm welcomed formally? Which I'm expecting, and looking forwards to.

Thanks again, in advance

Mick

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Posted : 24 May, 2007 6:54 pm
tane_ariki OWC
(@tane_ariki-owc)
Trusted Member

quote:


1)Not a Maori
2)Not a New Zealander
3)Australian; which I'm told are three reasons for me to be not allowed. I'm also having a tiki blessed for me because we're engaged.


I don't know which marae is that, but that's absolute crap because that's the direct opposite of manaakitanga. As much as some people hate pakeha, just because you're one doesn't mean that you're not welcome on a marae? Such a marae that behaves in such a manner is obviously a marae not worth knowing if they're going to treat you, a kotuku rerenga tuatahi, the most honoured and revered guest, in such a manner by telling you that.

quote:


I know the rules about etiquette in the rooms and on the grounds, but what should I say, in Maori, if I'm welcomed formally? Which I'm expecting, and looking forwards to.


Tēnā koe. You say that to one person to say thankyou.

www.korero.maori.nz <--- This is a good friendly website for you to visit to get to grips with the language and learn basic phrases. Its got nice audio sound files for you to listen to as well as quizzes and practice exercises. I highly recommend it for someone in your situation.

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Posted : 24 May, 2007 11:26 pm
taiga
(@taiga)
Trusted Member

Ae tautoko, its not about you not being maori, that is not what marae are about. I suggest just being somewhat reserved, pay attention, help out in the kitchen, maori love that, and use what tane said, tena koe to one person, tena korua to two, tena kotou to three or more, or otherwise simply use kia ora

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Posted : 25 May, 2007 12:46 pm
bpw1
 bpw1
(@bpw1)
Active Member

Kia ora Mick,
I see that you are going to be married soon. First of all congratulations, and the reason why I have brought this up is that there is an old saying in Maoridom with regard to an outsider marrying into a Maori family, and I quote "you marry her (fiancee), you marry the whole tribe!!" I hope I haven't scared you or anything, but it means you become part of her whole family, which no longer makes you a foreigner, it makes you part of the furniture.
Incidently, what were the three reasons told to you for not allowing an Aussie onto the marae?

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Posted : 25 May, 2007 3:04 pm
mykidsarekiwis OWC
(@mykidsarekiwis-owc)
Active Member

Thanks for your replies. Embarrassing as it is to admit, it seems I may have missed a bit of sarcasm when I was told those three things. Mixed with a real burning desire to impress. Have had a good laugh at myself, thanks for helping to set me straight. And yes, have heard about marrying the whole tribe before, but I can deal with that 🙂

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Posted : 28 May, 2007 2:40 pm
taiga
(@taiga)
Trusted Member

ka pai

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Posted : 28 May, 2007 5:49 pm
bpw1
 bpw1
(@bpw1)
Active Member

Yeah Mick,
with regard to your three reasons, I think your future inlaws were having you on. We always like to make fun of the Aussies, and I've heard a few things said by Aussies about Kiwis regarding sheep, but all in good humour aye??

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Posted : 28 May, 2007 6:28 pm
andrei OWC
(@andrei-owc)
Active Member

[quote]

I know the rules about etiquette in the rooms and on the grounds, but what should I say, in Maori, if I'm welcomed formally? Which I'm expecting, and looking forwards to.

Thanks again, in advance

Mick

Kia ora Mick. It's quite acceptable for you to ask a kaumatua (elder) to speak for you. If you really want to address the tangata whenua on a marae, start by greeting the wharenui, the marae atea, the dead, and then the living; then tell them who you are and why you're there. Here is a korero for you...

Te whare e tu nei, tena-koe
Te marae atea ki waho, tena-koe
Te whare, te marae, tena-korua tena-korua tena-korua
Nga mate, haere haere haere
Tatou nga hunga ora, tena-koutou tena-koutou tena-tatou katoa
Ko(whatever your missus name)taku wahine,No(where's your missus from)Ko Mick taku ingoa, No Ahitereiria toku kainga
Kua tae mai ahau i tenei-ra ki te tautoko i tenei putiputi ataahua ...(look at your missus and smile when you say that)
Noreira tena-ra ko koutou katoa.

You might want to sing a song at this point. If you dont but someone starts singing anyway, just mime and tap your right foot rythmically on the ground.
Well good luck Mick, you've got two weeks to practice, she'll be right mate.

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Posted : 29 May, 2007 12:38 am
taiga
(@taiga)
Trusted Member

Im quite sure that the people will not expect a korero from you. I suggest sticking to the basics, hello, thank you, all of which can be summarized using kia ora. Wouldnt wana do your head in now aye lol

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Posted : 29 May, 2007 12:19 pm
tane_ariki OWC
(@tane_ariki-owc)
Trusted Member

Yeah, don't worry with the aumihi, just focus on the small things first. Build your way up first, don't take too much on board. It's just way too much information.

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Posted : 29 May, 2007 1:07 pm
matahuru OWC
(@matahuru-owc)
Eminent Member

Great advice for you there mick..Listen to these guys they know.

Heres a couple more tips. Get in with her brothers or male cousins. These guys have the ability to make your visit a little tougher then it has to be while you are in NZ and believe me, some will try. However if you get close to them nice and early then if anyone else gives you flak, they will look after you. What I mean by that is, no one word answers to their questions or shrug them off. Connect with something they like to do.

This is where a bit of research may be required on your end. Ask your wife to think of a close male relative around your age. then ask her what sports he likes, what he drinks etc stuff like that. When you meet him, mention those sports or buy him a beer. That will be it buddy! You will be the cool cuzzy from over the ditch that likes rugby. Hey if you say you prefer the all blacks to the wallabys you will be a bloody legend! hahaha

Now why would you go to all this trouble? Because on marae, after the formalities you must leave your wife with her female relatives to take care of what they do, and you must go with the men and do what they do. Now if you have not yet bonded with any males you wont know where you suppose to be or what you suppose to be doing. Some Maori, especially on marae, take pleasure from giving people a hard time, maori or otherwise. The fact that you are australian is just too good an oppurtunity for someone not to take up. Theres always one. hahaha. Just smile and nodd like you dont understand english! hahaha

Anyway, I hope I havent scared you away from the marae. Believe me if you get it right the first time, they will love you forever and you will be able to say truthfully that you have whanau here in NZ.

Congratualtions and Good Luck!

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Posted : 29 May, 2007 2:28 pm
mykidsarekiwis OWC
(@mykidsarekiwis-owc)
Active Member

Kia ora Matahuru and bpw1. I think what you're saying is what I was really on about. Being given a bit of a hard time, but really all in good fun. God knows we make plenty of fun about kiwis here. Then someone mentions ANZAC day and all jokes are forgotten lol.

Expecting to talk about rugby a lot. But if anyone happens to be at Auckland airport when I arrive, you'll see my Fiancee running from a Maori elder to hug a guy in Wallabies jumper 🙂

Thanks heaps again, to everyone who replied. BTW, are Steinlager and Tui actually popular beers over there? Or are they the stereotypical ones like VB and Fosters in OZ?

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Posted : 30 May, 2007 4:31 pm
taiga
(@taiga)
Trusted Member

Nah cuz, more Steinies, tui, lion red, waikato...

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Posted : 31 May, 2007 10:01 am
Dolly OWC
(@dolly-owc)
Active Member

psssst @ u blimmin Maori ... ur meant 2 tell him - nah we're top shelf drinkers
corrrrrrrrrr KK <---- Katakata

& Pukana blah @ the word "missus" sheesh!!!!

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Posted : 21 June, 2007 3:07 pm
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