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Adoption Laws  

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libby OWC
(@libby-owc)
New Member

Kioura,
When a child has been given up for adoption that child seems to be misplaced forever. (Referring to 1960's)
I am one who was given up I am not angry but very troubled at how I feel, I have been left somewhat out in the cold in my adult life.
My family who brought me up are connected to Ngatahu and my blood line is Nghapui, my life is great however I feel that I only really know my parents and siblings yet I can never stand as Ngatahu because of my blood line.
As for my blood line I can stand once I have that information but I have been amongst my birth whanau and my heart aches for my mum and dad my siblings my whole whanau of Ngatahu.
I was crushed at an early age to know that I did not really belong to my parents and I found out later what that meant when I was amongst the elders I just looked into sympathetic eyes of the elders who knew more than I that I did not belong.
I do know that I was placed in this position because I am strong and able to walk freely yet my heart and my feelings are hurt that I cannot be named on the Marae of my nanny as anything but the bastard. I would love to know if there is anything I can do to change this,(meaning that I am accepted and fully included as Ngatahu) not only for me but other adoptee's,& my own children, The Law of my ancestors cannot expect a child who is loved and loved back to her known family, to go and pick up the piece's with her own bloodline,or to what just stand out in the cold because that's how it feels.
I apologise if my ignorants has offended anybody but I am coming from the heart and my intentions are for the good of my mokapunas.
For me the closest you can ever be to your home is the earth that you walk on, and the highest you could ever feel is where your ancestors' lay to rest.

Quote
Posted : 26 May, 2007 12:05 am
tane_ariki OWC
(@tane_ariki-owc)
Trusted Member

Kia Ora,

I read this with some sadness but also a very strong conviction. Here is what I have to say on this matter.

quote:


My family who brought me up are connected to Ngatahu and my blood line is Nghapui, my life is great however I feel that I only really know my parents and siblings yet I can never stand as Ngatahu because of my blood line.


That is 100% correct.

quote:


As for my blood line I can stand once I have that information but I have been amongst my birth whanau and my heart aches for my mum and dad my siblings my whole whanau of Ngatahu.


Your turangawaewae is with Nga Puhi. They are your blood relations. They should be the ones looking after you when you go to them. The solution to this is if you don't want to go back, then, you should have married a Ngai Tahu man. While you may have never ever had the turangawaewae, your children and mokopuna could have. I don't know your situation too well, so I'm talking generally here. If they don't have Ngai Tahu genealogy, then they need to make that journey back to the Far North.

quote:


I was crushed at an early age to know that I did not really belong to my parents and I found out later what that meant when I was amongst the elders I just looked into sympathetic eyes of the elders who knew more than I that I did not belong.


I am sorry that you felt (and possibly still feel?) this way. You do belong, you belong to Nga Puhi. But you also have connections to your Ngai Tahu family. However, that connection will not make you tangata whenua to Ngai Tahu, but it is the connection that has nurtured you and look after you.

quote:


I do know that I was placed in this position because I am strong and able to walk freely yet my heart and my feelings are hurt that I cannot be named on the Marae of my nanny as anything but the bastard.


Many famous people were 'bastards' (born out of wedlock I assume is the meaning you intended). Tutanekai in Rotorua was a bastard, and he was some other things too, but he never let that stop him becoming a mighty ruler.

quote:


I would love to know if there is anything I can do to change this,(meaning that I am accepted and fully included as Ngatahu) not only for me but other adoptee's,& my own children,


The only way is through joining genealogy and that would be your mokopuna (if you haven't) marrying into Ngai Tahu. You yourself will never be Ngai Tahu, but you will always be Nga Puhi. Although they never raised you, be proud to say that you are Nga Puhi and that you have a place to call home in the Far North, the place of your ancestors.

quote:


The Law of my ancestors cannot expect a child who is loved and loved back to her known family, to go and pick up the piece's with her own bloodline,or to what just stand out in the cold because that's how it feels.


That is certainly not true. That is the prejudice of society, but not the law. The law is, that a connection between child and parent can never be truely cut off. Hence, you can go to Nga Puhi and be counted despite the prejudices of some people. You can go back. I don't know who told you that, but that is blatantly wrong and they should hang their heads in shame for suggesting that.

quote:


I apologise if my ignorants has offended anybody but I am coming from the heart and my intentions are for the good of my mokapunas.
For me the closest you can ever be to your home is the earth that you walk on, and the highest you could ever feel is where your ancestors' lay to rest.


Don't worry, your question is quite genuine. There are two options - either your mokopuna marry Ngai Tahu people and that way their children (your great grandchildren) will be able to stand on Ngai Tahu ground and be proudly counted as a member of Ngai Tahu. The other option is to rekindle that fire with the Far North. That shouldn't be too hard to do.

Anyone else have any other words to say?

I hope this brings some conviction for you

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26 May, 2007 11:56 am
Whaeag
(@whaeag)
Active Member

I read this topic with interest and a question....as far as i have researched a "Whangai" child is regognised by both Maori and Pakeha as belonging to the land and people who whangaied them.The law today states that whangai children have as much right to the land and people that they were raised on as well as to their original bloodline if it can be established.
I would suggest you consult some kaumatua and ask the questions because while some may say one thing there are always many "Definitions" according to whichever kaumatua you speak to.
I know my nanny rona was whangaied into taranaki from the east coast yet she holds all the mana of the taranki whanau who raised her, she was also entitled to lands etc because of who her whangai parents were in taranaki and could still claim her bloodline lands and rights as well.
I really think if you were raised ngai tahu then you are ngai tahu..it is in your heart. I also understand how you can feel like an outsider when you go back to your bloodline lands and whanau...i have had the unpleasant experience of that happening and usually it is because they think you are after their lands etc which you are entitled to by birth right anyway.
Hold your head and be proud to be Ngai tahu.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26 May, 2007 2:38 pm
libby OWC
(@libby-owc)
New Member

Many thanks to you both for taking the time to reply.
I am very proud of Ngapuhi they have protected our land and kept true to their ancestral plan.
For me I have only one influence of Maoridom and that is my nanny.
She is of Ngaitahu descendant and if it wasn't for her strength and love for her children I would not have had such a strong belief of my own being.
Her Story of her life is of courage compassion and most of all confidence in her tipunas'to guiide her through the hardship of being able to provide for her 12 alive children and 1 that passed on at the beginning of life, my nanny had a husband who could not provide and was often away praying for the lord to provide.
She stood strong in her love and took care of her children all by herself.
The gifts that Nanny gave each and one of her children are still being passed on to this day.
The 1930's appear to be pretty hard times for the best of us however to be Maori and raise 12 children on her own, she had no whanau support her own family were too far away, all she had was wisdom and knowledge that provided her children with the ingredients to having a successful life.
I guess for me opening a door to my bloodline is the only option I have, for it is my children's children right to know where and who they belong too.
My birth family are good people with out a doubt, land and issues like seniority they do play a hesitant role in us joining together,
the major concern for me is personnal I feel like I am betraying my family, when I contacted my birth parents my parents were hurt.
After that it was never the same with my family and I just didn't want my children to go down the same path I did, I thought that if I could say to them that they are Ngaitahu then they would never have to feel that they didn't belong.
The only reason I contacted my birth parents was because I was at Kohanga Reo way down south and there I was proud as punch saying who i was and telling stories of my whanau only to be told that No that is not your Tribe.
I am proud of my whanau and I guess I will be doing my children a favour by sticking to bloodline and maybe we will find out together about our birth whanau.
Once again many thanks for you time.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26 May, 2007 7:39 pm
tane_ariki OWC
(@tane_ariki-owc)
Trusted Member

quote:


the major concern for me is personnal I feel like I am betraying my family, when I contacted my birth parents my parents were hurt.


Don't feel as if you are betraying them. You are reaching out for that part of you which is your true source, the two who came before you. Never feel as though as if you are betraying them. You have to do this for yourself for your identity for your peace of mind and for your descendants to have their turangawaewae.

You can do it, you have the strength to do it. Pursue it.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26 May, 2007 7:50 pm
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